Lihtsalt ulmeliselt kiire on kogu aeg nagu orav rattas. Oh seda irooniat. Kui mu päev oleks õunapirukas sõõks umbes pool sellest kool. Pähh, pähh. Hehee. Ja kui ma räägin nt. nendega, kes läksid MGsse või kusagile mujal gümnaasiumi, siis neil on nagu elu palju vaba aega. Ja see on nii kreizi lihtsalt. Üldse aega pole ja nii saabki su klass su pereks, sest kõik on kõigile toeks ja aitavad ning kui eriti halb on olla muudavad tuju paremaks. See on nii mõnus. Ja siis see lumi vean end läbi hangede bussipeatusesse ja ootan bussi, mis jääb viimasel ajal alati hiljaks ning jõudes kooli ei tunne ma enam oma varbaid. Ma käin käna alati ühe ja sama kohapeal ning naeran üle tänava kui see kukun. Kui ikka väga külm hakkab, siis tantsin bussipeatuses ja naeratan neile, kes mind imelikult vaatavad. Aga vähemalt on mul soe. See on see kõige tähtsam.
Viimasel ajal on südames selline jõulu tunn, et tahaks piparkooke ja glögi ja mandariine ja verivorste pohlamoosiga. Tekib tunne, et olen jälle väike. Ma tean, et olen liiga vana, et mul päkapikud käiksid, aga käiad, sest mul on väikesed vennad. Ja üldse on elu nii ilus, et vahet pole mida arvataks, sest mina tunnen end alati hästi vahet pole mida teised ütlevad. Ja vahel ma tõesti olen südamest nii õnnelik, et tundub nagu oleksin laksu all, aga ei ole. Ja head asjad juhtuvad heade inimesetega. Hurricane (üli hea laul, ootan videot).
Ja ma olen olnud väga bizi ka ühe loooga. Leelo-leelo ja lelodi-lelodi siin see on(trummi põrin):
Silver introduced herself again and again just like before. Just like very time when someone stayed over. Just like every time when her brother broth home his next conquest. Every time she smiled and said: „Hi, I’m Silver. Nice to meet you.“ and then whispered in his brother’s ear: „When will you stop!“More than once she wished that he’d stop. That he’d stop this cuz she knew that she was the one who had to clean up his mess. Who had to have that conversation with the girl he needed her to dump for him. She was tired of that. Doing his dirty work. But for some reason she just knew that she had to do it. She had to look out for him. Even if seeing him getting drunk and spending the night with some skank. She knew that in the end of the day he was all she had and she just had to keep him safe. Ever since the day she promised to mom on her death bed that she’d look out for him. She had done the best way she knew how. There were times when she wanted so badly to walk away but she couldn’t. She promised. Screw the promise. At first she was like yeah i can do it but only this once. Just this once and then there was the second time and third and…. Silver didn’t even bother to remember the names. Cindy, Kristy or Tina. It didn’t mater. What’s the point when tomorrow they’d be in the next city and that skank would be forgotten by then. She would feel nothing and he ‘d have a massive hangover. That’s the way months passed. She begged him to stop. He only said he’ll try and went to a bar. She went out for a walk and came back just in time to say Hi to his next conquest.
Silver just walked out and sat on a bench in front of the motel room. Tears were running down her face when a car drove to the parking lot. Not just a car, a Chevy. A ’67 Chevy Impala a car she had always wanted. Two men got out. One must went to check them in cuz when he came back he gave the other man a room key and drove away. The other one was unlocking the room. He seemed to have trouble with it. Silver dried her tears and said: „ Pull it and then turn the key. It should open then.“ Her voice was a bit shaky she didn’t care.
„Thanks“ said the guy. He looked some much like Tom that she started crying again.
„Hey, don’t cry“ he said.
„I don’t even know why i do it anymore. I shouldn’t care about it but i just can’t stop. Sorry.“
He sat down beside her.
„You don’t have to be here you know. I’m fine on my own.“
„I want to be. I’m Sam.“
„ Silver“ she said and smiled. She felt revealed for some reason.
„Now Silver tell why were you crying?“ Sam asked.
„It’s actually long story.“ Silver said and the her room’s door opened and a girl came out.
„I’ve got time my brother won’t be back till morning.“
„It’s my brother after my parents died he totally changed. Started drinking and sleeping around. Mom was worried something like that would happen and made me promise to look after him. So i do it and it hurts me to see him like that always drunk or having a hangover. But he doesn’t get it. Just before i told him to stop like for the hundredth time and he told me he’d think about in the bar. He came back with a girl and… Well, you know.“
„ Wow, sorry“ was all he said. They sat in silence before Silver’s room’s door opened and her brother came out.
„Hi, Sil. You have to tell her.“ he slurred and went back inside.
„ Not again“ she mumbled and stood up.
„I’m sorry. I’d better go to sleep and so to you. Good night!“ she said.
„Night“ Sam answered and watched her go to her room. He wanted to kill that bastard brother of hers who hurted her so much. He wanted to make him understand how much it all hurt her. He knew how much it hurted him. He had seen so many times how Dean got drunk and what happened next. He knew exactly how she felt and he could do nothing for her. He wished he could look into her brown eyes and tell her that everything is gonna be alright. He stood up and went to his room. Sam picked up his duffel back he had putten down before talking to Silver.
Silver closed the door quietly and watched his snoring brother sleep. She changed quickly and sat on her bed. She wished she’d just stayed outside with Sam. She wanted so badly to go and talk to him. But instead Silver laid down on her bed and his brother sleep. Talking to Sam had made her feel better. Like he had known exactly how she felt. Like he knew how much it hurt. She fell asleep thinking about a guy she had met.
She woke up when someone shook her.
„Hey, Sil. Sil wake up. Sil c’mon. I need an aspirin.“ his brother said shook her again.
„Jeez, chill out.“ Silver whispered.
„C’mon sis get up. I need some aspirin and besides you need to tell her it’s over.“
„Yeah yeah what ever i can get the aspirin but you need to dump her himself. Sorry“ she answered and got up, took her bag and went to bathroom to change.
„No way.“ he said.
„Yes way“ she shouted.
„I’ll think about it. You go and get me my aspirin.“ he mumbled.
„Don’t think too hard“ she said with sarcasm and walked out from the bathroom.
„Hurry up“ he said and she walked out the door crabbing her purse on the way.
Damn, he’s like a child Silver tough and bumped into someone.
„I’m sorry. I didn’t see you“ she apologized and saw that she bumped into Sam.
„It’s okay. I’m fine“ he answered and looked down at the coffee stain of his shirt.
„I’m so sorry.“ she said, took a napkin from her bag and started cleaning up the stain. „Please, let me clean it up for you.“
„No need. I was gonna wash it anyway.“ he said and took the napkin from her.
„Then at least let me buy you a new coffee or something.“ Silver said.
„OK could you wait a minute i need to get myself a new shirt.“ he said and opened his door.
She stood outside and mentally kicked herself for doing something like that.
Nice, you just had to bump into him. Didn’t you. She thought.
The two minutes passed real slow for Silver. She kept thinking about Sam. The way it had felt to touch him….
She was so gought up in her thoughts that she didn’t noticed when Sam came out.
„Hey, Silver“ he said and she startled a little.
„Oh, hey, c’mon let’s go“ she composed herself quickly and they walked away.
„Hey,sis! You got aspirin?“ asked Tom.
„Oh, sorry i forgot“ Silver said and smiled.
„What do you mean you forgot? Didn’t mom told you to look after me? Why are you dishonoring her last wish? Why?“ he said calmly.
„ Oh, don’t you start blaming me. I’ve been there for you. I’ve stood up for you when i wanted so badly to leave your sorry ass behind and move on. And that’s all i get. I’m sorry i forgot your freaking aspirin or what ever it was you wanted. cuz for once i was having fun. I was out drinking coffee with a man i like and i totally forgot you and all your messes and my miserable life. I just… I felt great. I felt something i haven’t felt in years. Ever since mom… I missed that feeling. I missed it so bad and i want it back.“ Silver told him, yelling at first but whispering lovingly in the end.
„I remember mom’s wish and don’t you dare to start saying i haven’t honored it cuz i have. I practically threw away my life to keep you in control and now this is what i get. I get to see you sleeping around and getting drunk. C’mon this ain’t a life. This ain’t what i signed up for. This is nothing like i planed it to be. And you, you know it. God, your so pathetic.“ she continued and put her head on her knees as she sat down her back against the wall.
„Sam asked me why i keep letting you do this and you know what i seed? I said it’s cause your my little bro. Your always be my little bro who i promised to take care of. And you know what he did? He looked me in the eye and told me that if it were up to him you would be begging for my forgiveness right now cuz he wanted to beat you up and i had to think about what to say when he asked me if I’d let him. You know why? cuz i think you deserve it but hey your lucky, i told him no. But right now i wish i had said him yes.“
„ You wouldn’t do that to me“Tom told me mockingly what caused Sil to stand up and walk close to him, looking at him, right in the eye with a killer stare.
„You do know that he is living next door right?“ Sil snapped at him.
„You heard me. And i would totally do it without even blinking cuz I’ve had enough. I guess it’s time for you to move on and FYI i would do him anytime.“
„You wouldn’t“ he stated.
„You know i would. Bye Tom!“ Sil said waving before walking out the door. She felt so relieved. Like a stone had fallen away from her heart. She was also tired but that didn’t matter at the moment.
She steaded her breath before knocking on Sam’s door. She didn’t act surprised when brother opened the door. Sam had told her so much about him this morning.
Silver just wanted to talk to Sam so she just blurted out the words before Dean had a chance to say anything.
“Is Sam here?”
“ Yeah. Hold on a sec.” he told me before yelling “Hey, Sammy”
“What?” Sam answered.
“Someone’s getting lucky tonight” said Dean and smirked.
“What?” Sam asked again:
“Some chick is asking for you” Dean said a little louder.
“Stop playing 20 questions and look yourself” Dean yelled and looked at Silver before saying
“You’re Dean, aren`t you? The man whore I presume. Don’t worry I won’t judge, my brother has the same mistake. He too needs to jump on anyone with skirt and fake boobs. I bet you two would be great friends. Altough from what i’ve heard you’re specialised on one-nighters while my bro promises long terms and after getting what he wants asks me to dump the tramp for him. But still. If I may say it without stroking your ego then damn you’re hot.” Silver spoke quickly.
“What?” Dean asked not believing what he had heard.
“I’m Silver. Nice to meet you.” Silver said and hugged him. Dean was still looking at her speechless.
“So is Sam coming? Or maybe we sould just buy him a dress and a make-up kit and call him Samantha?” Sil asked.
“ SAM” Dean yelled and laughed. He liked Silver.
“ Coming” he answered.
“Sam, what ever you do please don’t look into a mirrir otherwise i’ll have to wait for another minute,” Sil said loudly.
“Sil, Is that you?”
“Yeah now move your lazy ass here”
She heard a door opening and closing and then Sam came into the view.
“Hey Sil” Sam said and hugged her. “What’s up?”
“I had a fight with Tom and I couldn’t take it anymore so I took my things and walked out. I was hoping that maybe your offer still stands. I know it sounds weird that a guy who i’ve known less thatn 24 hours asks me to come with him but right now it’s he best offer made so …”she didn’t had a chance to finsh what she wanted to say cuz Dean interupted her.
“What the hell Sammy? You can’t just asks some random chick to join us man. It’s not safe for her to come. She’s not a hunter.
“Hey,” said Silver,” my hole family were hunters. So was I but well life’s a bitch and I couldn’t handle it all. Try raising a ten year old boy by yourself and hunt at the same time cuz that was damn hard. So I made a choice Tom or hunting and in the end Tom was more important to me than saving others. Family first. And most of all I didn’t want Tom to loose his sister the same way he lost his parents and lil sis. Anyway I’m as good hunter as any of you. Maybe a little rusty but it can all be fixed. So Dean, are there any other reasons why I shouldn’t come cuz i’m dieing to har those?”
“OK you can come but Sammy his your responsebility and the moment she becomes more trouble then worth i’m leaving her ass behind” Dean said looking at Sam.
“Only my ass. You haven’t even seen it and you already hate it. “ Sil said dissapointedly. “ One question though. Dean, you aren’t mad at me cuz I compared you to my egocentric brother who if i’m correct is at this moment try to call Bobby to ask him to call me to ask me to come back, are you?” Sila asked.
“Wait don’t answer right now cuz my phone is gonna start ringing any minute now. 3,2,1” Sil counted and her phone started to ring.
“ Hello Bobby” she said and stepped away from the boys.
“Girl what did you do this time. Tom told me you ran away with some guy you met this morning. Is it true?’
“ Damn Sil. Who is he?”
“Well tehnically I haven’t ran away jet. And his name is Sam, he’s real cute and yes he is a hunter. He also has a brother Dean who seems to be the man whore like my sweet Tommy is. BTW Sam doesn’t seem like a guy who would trick me into bed with him but his brother is the one I don’t trust. Altough if Sam asked me then I would probably be play-doh in his arms. His so hot and his brother. Damn those abs. Bob, I think i’m in love with them. Cuz if they asked I would ven do a threesome with them.”
“Sil I really didn’t want to know that. Are they Winchsters?”
“i don’t know their last name”
Sil covered the phone with her hand and turned to the boys, “ Hey, Winchester?”
“What?” both boys asked.
She uncovered the phone and started talking to Bobby again.
“ So what if they are Winchesters? They still look as hot and do able as before”
“ Kiddo. You have no idea what you got yourself into.”
“I know that but I really can’t stand being with Tom anymore. And Sam gave me an option”
“Since your with two ijits . Tell me where you are so I can come and pick you up”
“NO, i’m not a little kid anymore. I can handle myself but Tom on the other hand needs …”
“That’s it. I’m comin to get ya” Bobby said before hanging up.
Sil heard dial tone, closed her phone and walked back to boys.
“Your phone’s gonna ring any minute” Sil said and looked at them. “I wasn’t interrupting something or maybe I was? Anyway you don’t have to worry about me cuz Bobby is coming to get me. He don’t trust me with you two ijits. Don’t take it personally cuz the old man has some real big problems when it comes trusting me. Must have something to do with me always runnin away with bad guys…” she mumbled the last part more to herself. Why do I always run away with the bad guy? Well in my case he actually isn’t the bad guy but still. The man has no faith in me. He always double checks everything I do and some cases triple checks even. Why am I the black sheep of the family when Tom is the on with problems. He has been and will be but Bobby trusts him more than me. Why?Sil thought.